Quotes

All our sweetest hours fly fastest.
- Virgil

If nobody spoke unless he had something to say, the human race would very soon lose the use of speech.
- W. Somerset Maugham

There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
- Dick Cavett

The men the American public admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.
- H. L. Mencken

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?
- Clarence Darrow

Quotes

“The manner in which one endures what must be endured is more important than the thing that must be endured.”
—DEAN ACHESON, U.S. secretary of state

Quotes

I can, therefore I am.
- Simone Weil

The function of science fiction is not always to predict the future but sometimes to prevent it. - Frank Herbert
Humility is the embarrassment you feel when you tell people how wonderful you are.
- Laurence J. Peter

As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
- M. Cartmill

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them.
- Lily Tomlin

Friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
- George Washington

Quotes

Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.
- Salvador Dali

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.
- Sir Winston Churchill

Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
- An English Professor

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
- James Magary

Politically Correct

Milton Friedman - Adequate Housing

Quotes

It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
- Rene Descartes

Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

Nihilism is best done by professionals.
- Iggy Pop

Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day.
- Lillian Carter

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.
- Judith Martin

Quotes

The world is round so that friendship may encircle it.
- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
- Cullen Hightower

Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense, differing from the latter only as a veteran may differ from a raw recruit: and its methods differ from those of common sense only as far as the guardsman's cut and thrust differ from the manner in which a savage wields his club.
- Thomas H. Huxley

A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.
- Edmond de Goncourt

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
- Woody Allen

Quotes

A will finds a way.
- Orison Swett Marden

What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
- Jeph Jacques

Ever heard Victoria's REAL secret? Too much support hurts.
- R. Stevens

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.
- Alfred Hitchcock

What luck for rulers that men do not think.
- Adolf Hitler

Quotes

Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing.
- Randy K. Milholland

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
- Robert Benchley

Friendship is one mind in two bodies.
- Mencius

Quotes

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
- Mark Twain

The more things change, the more they remain... insane.
- Michael Fry and T. Lewis

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
- Fran Lebowitz

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
- Dorothy Parker

Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
- Ambrose Bierce

Quotes

Happiness is itself a kind of gratitude.
- Joseph Wood Krutch

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
- Evan Esar

A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
- Rodney Dangerfield

He knows all about art, but he doesn't know what he likes.
- James Thurber

I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.
- Thomas Jefferson

Top 3 Myths About the Great Depression and the New Deal

Quotes

What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
- John Lubbock

In great affairs men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small things they show themselves as they are.
- Nicholas Chamfort

Good taste is the worst vice ever invented.
- Edith Sitwell

Fervor is the weapon of choice for the impotent.
- Frantz Fanon

Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you can find outside an advertising agency.
- Raymond Chandler

Quotes

In politics stupidity is not a handicap.

- Napoleon

Quotes

It is undesirable to believe a proposition when there is no ground whatsoever for supposing it is true.
- Bertrand Russell

If you would be known, and not know, vegetate in a village; If you would know, and not be known, live in a city.
- Charles Caleb Colton

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
- Thomas A. Edison

All progress is experimental.
- John Jay Chapman

Resist Socialism!

Petition to Redistribute GPA Scores

Quotes

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.
- James M. Barrie

The past is not dead. In fact, it's not even past.
- William Faulkner

Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.
- J. Bartlett Brebner

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

Petition to Apply Affirmative Action to Basketball Team

Spontaneous Order

Quotes

My motto - sans limites.
- Isadora Duncan

It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.
- Neil Gaiman

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
- Robert Orben

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
- Stephen Leacock

Chicago Tribune admits to censoring stories

JON STEWART GETS MAD!

Quotes

You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty.
- Cecil Baxter

The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealised past.
- Robertson Davies

Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it.
- Elias Schwartz

Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
- Elbert Hubbard

There can't be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
- Henry A. Kissinger

Quotes

Indecision and delays are the parents of failure.
- George Canning

As I grow older , I regret to say that a detestable habit of thinking seems to be getting a hold of me.
- H. Rider Haggard

Never knock on Death's door: ring the bell and run away! Death really hates that!
- Matt Frewer

What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance.
- Havelock Ellis

I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
- Unknown

Quotes

You cannot do only one thing.
- Garrett Hardin

How my achievements mock me!
- William Shakespeare

We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.
- Roald Dahl

An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.
- Henry Ford

I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
- Edward Chilton

Quotes

Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.
- H. L. Mencken

I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
- Will Rogers

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
- Ambrose Bierce

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
- Chinese Proverb

Be pleasant until ten o'clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.
- Elbert Hubbard

Quotes

What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint a second time.
- Honore de Balzac

Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.
- Friedrich von Schiller

There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it.
- Cicero

Quotes

In the long run, there is not much discrimination against superior talent.
- Carter G. Woodson

Ethics are so annoying. I avoid them on principle.
- Darby Conley

If you're not scared or angry at the thought of a human brain being controlled remotely, then it could be this prototype of mine is finally starting to work.
- John Alejandro King

The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch.
- Michael Friedman

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Veronique de Rugy Tells the Truth about Taxes & Entitlements

Quotes

Enthusiasm moves the world.
- Arthur Balfo

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
- Dave Barry

Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.
- Sir Winston Churchill

Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.
- Benjamin Franklin

The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever.
- Anatole France

Quotes

There is always more misery among the lower classes than there is humanity in the higher.
- Victor Hugo

People will buy anything that is one to a customer.
- Sinclair Lewis

All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.
- Galileo Galilei

Is there life before death?
- Graffito

Quotes

What we buy, and pay for, is part of ourselves.
- Amelia E. Barr

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.
- Ronnie Shakes

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.
- Dame Edna Everage

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
- Thomas Jones

Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.
- G. K. Chesterton