Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not. - Samuel Johnson

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something. - Mitch Hedberg

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. - Laurence J. Peter

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. - Ogden Nash

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. - Dick Cavett